Why the Best Swimmers Aren’t Calmer, They’re Better at Stress

Our teams January Character Theme: Resilience & Stress Recovery

Why Learning to Manage Stress May Be the Ultimate Performance Advantage

If there is one skill today’s young athletes need more than almost any other, it is not a faster start, a more dynamic dolphin kick, or a better turn.

It is the ability to handle stress, recover from setbacks, and keep moving forward without “burning out” or giving up.

In January, our focus is Resilience & Stress Recovery, helping swimmers understand stress, regulate their nervous systems, and bounce back emotionally and mentally after difficult moments. This work is inspired by psychologist William Stixrud, educator Ned Johnson, and reinforced by habit science from James Clear (Atomic Habits).

This is not just about swimming. This is about building resilient people, and if you are a coach of young people that should be a top priority.

Stress Is Not the Enemy, Mismanaged Stress Is

One of the most important ideas from William Stixrud and Ned Johnson’s work (especially The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?) is this:

Stress itself is not harmful. Chronic, uncontrollable stress is.

When young athletes experience stress as something happening to them, something they don’t understand or can’t control, the brain interprets it as a threat. This activates the fight-or-flight response: heart rate spikes, muscles tighten, thinking narrows, and performance drops.

But when stress is understood as a challenge, the body responds very differently. The same physiological signals like butterflies, elevated heart rate, adrenaline, now become tools rather than obstacles.

The body isn’t panicking. It’s preparing.

Teaching swimmers to make this distinction may be one of the most powerful performance skills we can give them.

For Coaches: Resilience Is a Life Skill, and a Competitive Edge

From a coaching perspective, stress regulation is often treated as an “extra” something separate from training.

In reality, it may be the secret weapon in the pursuit of high performance.

Athletes who can regulate stress:

• Recover faster after bad races

• Learn more effectively from mistakes

• Compete with freedom instead of fear

• Stay in the sport longer

• Show up consistently, even after setbacks

Stixrud’s research shows that learning happens best in a regulated nervous system. An athlete who feels psychologically safe, autonomous, and emotionally steady is far more coachable than one who is constantly overwhelmed.

This is why simple practices matter:

• Reframing nerves as readiness

• Teaching breathing before high-pressure efforts

• Normalizing bad races as data, not identity

• Emphasizing quick resets instead of perfection

When coaches shift language from “Don’t be nervous” to “Your body is gearing up,” athletes learn that stress is not something to avoid, it’s something to use.

Over time, this builds not just better swimmers, but stronger humans.

For Parents: Stress Doesn’t End at the Pool

Outside of swimming, kids today are growing up in an achievement-focused culture that rarely slows down.

School pressure. Social expectations. Constant comparison. Fear of falling behind.

Stixrud and Johnson are clear: many of today’s youth mental-health struggles are not caused by weakness, but by too much pressure with too little sense of control.

When children feel that success is something they must constantly earn, and that failure is dangerous, stress becomes chronic. Anxiety rises. Motivation drops. Joy disappears.

Parents play a crucial role in shaping how stress is experienced.

Helping kids reinterpret stress, in school, sports, and life, builds independence and confidence. Instead of removing challenges, we help them develop tools to face challenges.

Questions like:

• “What did you learn from that?”

• “What’s one thing you’d try differently next time?”

• “How can you reset tomorrow?”

These messages tell kids: You are capable. You can recover. One moment doesn’t define you.

“Never Miss Twice”: The Power of the Reset

One of the most practical additions to this month comes from Atomic Habits by James Clear:

Never miss twice.

Everyone has off days.Everyone misses a practice.Everyone has a bad race.

What matters is not the miss — it’s the response.

This principle removes shame and replaces it with action. It teaches athletes that consistency is not about perfection; it’s about quick recovery.

For swimmers, this might mean:

• Showing up focused after a bad race

• Re-engaging after missing practice

• Resetting emotionally instead of spiraling

For life, it teaches something even bigger:You are allowed to stumble — just don’t stay down.

Teaching Stress as a Skill

Throughout the month, our swimmers will learn:

• That stress is information, not danger

• How breathing can calm the nervous system

• How to reflect after tough races without self-criticism

• How to reset habits after setbacks

A simple message we emphasize early:

“Butterflies mean your body cares and is getting ready.”

This reframing alone can change how an athlete experiences competition, and how they experience life’s challenges.

Why This Matters

For coaches, this work creates athletes who are:

• More resilient

• More consistent

• More coachable

• More competitive under pressure

For parents, it supports kids who are:

• Less anxious

• More self-directed

• Better equipped to handle stress at school and beyond

• Healthier emotionally over the long term

And for swimmers, it builds something lasting:The belief that they can handle hard things, and recover when things don’t go as planned.

That is resilience. That is real confidence. And in many cases, that may be the difference between talent that fades… and potential that fully develops

In the end, this month’s focus on Resilience & Stress Recovery is not a quick fix or a one-time lesson, it’s the beginning of a much deeper conversation. Learning to manage stress, reset after setbacks, and stay engaged under pressure can transform performance in the pool, but more importantly, it shapes how young people navigate challenges for the rest of their lives. This blog only scratches the surface of what’s possible when stress is treated as a skill that can be understood, practiced, and improved. For coaches and parents who want to go further, I strongly encourage diving into the work of William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, especially The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?

Their research-backed insights offer powerful, practical guidance for raising resilient, confident, self-directed athletes and kids. When we commit to learning more, we don’t just help swimmers race better—we help them become stronger humans, equipped to handle whatever comes next.